Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Decisions decisions...

Sitting down.

Isn't it just the best feeling?

Under rated if you ask me.

Not that I have been standing up for a ridiculous amount recently or anything.

I just really do enjoy a good sit down.

A good sit down with a mug of warm squash and time to catch up on my blog.

It has been far too long. But I have been rather busy...

Mr B are on the hunt for a house, and we are also trying to book a wedding venue and set a date.

Exciting times ahead, but it does mean my brain gets rather full up.

And my train of thought goes something like this....

Right, lets think about wedding venues.

(Googles wedding venues)

What about this one?

Oh wait, but should I actually be looking at houses?

(Googles rightmove)

Or maybe I should go back to wedding venues.

Or wedding dresses.

Yes that is very important.

I do need something to wear. Cant possibly wear my trackie bottoms.

(Googles wedding dresses)

No, I hate all the dresses, I will have to get married in my trackies. I really should think about the house.

(Googles zoopla)

And so it continues......

At this point I should probably make some sort of oath, promise, or legally binding agreement, that this blog won't turn into a wedding blog.

Neither will I become a Bridezilla.

Honestly. I won't.

So for now, I shall go back to enjoying my sit down, and distract myself from all the forthcoming decisions by watching a good old fashioned murder mystery.

Nothing like a blood thirsty killer on the loose to ease your anxiety....!


Wednesday, 16 April 2014


I feel bad for writing my blog tonight, but I need to. My fingers need to type and my brain is overflowing.

I haven't felt good today.

Its been a day where the black dog has been barking non stop. I've tried to shut him up, put him back in his kennel, but instead, he's just got bigger and louder.

Logically speaking, I shouldn't feel like this.

I've just got engaged, I should be on the top of the world!

And I am.

Its just that I have depression too. And that doesn't go away.

Today, I could have been transported to Disney land, given a plate of sausage rolls, and allowed to pick my very own Chanel handbag, and I wouldn't have felt any different.

The black dog would still be barking. I would still want to curl up in my bed and hide. It would still be a huge effort to force myself to eat dinner. It would still be a battle to talk to anyone.

There is no rhyme or reason. Its just the way it is.

I am embarrassed and ashamed to be this way. I feel guilty for not being normal. For not being able to stay in that light happy place.

But I have accepted it.

And that's why I writing it.

Out here, online, on facebook, twitter, for all the world to see.

Because I want you to accept it too.


Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Warning: This blog contains cheese, love, and slushy stuff.

Well hello April!

Where did you appear from?

Its really rather nice to see you.

I've enjoyed you so far, especially as on Saturday I got engaged to my beloved Mr B..........

Oh yes, just thought I would drop that in for anyone who hasn't yet heard the news! But as my dear Mama has been broadcasting it from the rooftops, I'm pretty sure its managed to reach even the deepest and darkest of places...I wouldn't be surprised if she's contacted the national press to be honest, such is the magnitude of her excitement!

However, no one could be more excited, or more happy than me... Mrs B to be. (Although, for those who are interested, I will be keeping Piggott as a 'silent' middle name, I just cant bear not to be a piggy any more.)

Mr B is my best friend, my rock and my world, and I cant even describe how lucky I am to have such a wonderful (and ever so slightly weird) man by my side.

Could I have imagined three years ago that I would be in this place? Not a chance. I couldn't even comprehend the thought. Let alone hope for it.

When I first met Mr B, I told him all about my depression and anxiety. I couldn't be bothered to hide it or keep it from him, that's just not me. He could have run in the opposite direction, but he didn't, because he was dazzled by my fabulous personality....teehee, I jest. No, what I mean is, he accepted who I was, depression and all.

And now he hasn't just accepted me, he's decided to marry me!

I could get super mushy and slushy and lovey dovey but I have this feeling that some of you may be sick over your computers, and I don't want to get charged for the bill.

What I will say, are my 2 favourite words.

White wine.


Oh I am on fire with the jokes tonight.

No, the two words, that I want to remember about this time in my life, and the two words I want you to remember, if you're not feeling top banana....are...