muddled sooz

Just cycled up my road in the rain and wind.

I am no longer such a fan of this bike riding lark.

Soaking wet, freezing fingers, crazy hat hair, legs in severe pain and now only now 15 minutes later can I breathe normally. Actually, I still have a a tightness in my chest. Cough cough cough. Moan moan moan.

I am the queen of moaning. I cant deny it. And really I shouldn't be wasting my words on moaning because I have a very dramatic and strange story to tell. A story that has been developing over the past 24 hours, but its only now that Detective Piggott has been informed.

However I think I am feeling a bit too muddled in my brain to recount the tale. Tomorrow perhaps will be better. Just to give you a taster though it involves CSI, my garage and a stranger covered in blood. It has also increased my paranoia when it comes to checking locked doors. An obsession that sometimes gets a little out of control.

Anyway, its nothing to worry about, just a small mini drama to make this Friday a tad more exciting than usual.

I must admit my mind is not really here tonight. Once again I'm feeling distracted.

The fears and worries that have been haunting me in my nightmares this week continue to chase me in daylight. Which frankly is just plain mean. The nightmare is a continuous repetition of someone I care about running away from me and me not being able to catch up with them. I try to run as fast as possible, jumping over walls, running through woods, chasing through crowds, but I cannot get to them. I sometimes get close, grabbing their jacket, but it doesn't last, and I'm left again. I guess it doesn't sound that scary, I mean its not a big green monster or anything, but it feels terrifyingly real at the time. Not good.

Ugh, don't want to think about that anymore.
Nice thoughts please Susie.
Sausage and chips for tea perhaps?
OK

xx