Sunday 18 March 2012

the usual and unusual witterings

A weekend neither wasted or hated. But instead, relaxed and enjoyed. Its been a while...

Currently obsessing about black and white polka dot leggings. I think its the one key item my wardrobe is missing... I used to have a pair when I was about 7 and I wore them so much until I had bits of threadbare cotton hanging around my ankles. I seem to remember they co-ordinated very well with a matching Minnie Mouse sweater...Hmm...I think finding the sweater would be too much, I don't actually want to look like a 7 year old again...but the leggings are a definite must. I have googled them and discovered where they are waiting for me...perhaps tomorrow I will make a tiny detour...

Its quite annoying how my brain likes to obsess about stuff. Whether its clothes, or listening to a certain song over and again, or replaying a conversation with someone until my mind goes crazy, or when I get a taste for a long forgotten snack and I have to eat it aSAP before I explode in frustration. Its the same with my depression too I guess, my mind feeds on my negative thought patterns, allowing them to get bigger whilst my confidence gets smaller. Its all rather irksome I must say. I'm still hoping for that brain transplant, but it seems that no-one is very keen to swop with me...(which is probably my own fault, I haven't exactly sold the product very well, instead I have slated it repeatedly!)

Anyway......

Mama Pig's special day today, as it is for all Mummies around the world...All mums are ace. Top banana. But I think mine is the best. And I would be totally lost without her.

It also seems to me on days like this that I think about the people who haven't got a Mum. Maybe they've never had one, or they lost her recently. Perhaps they're a Mum who has lost a child, they might of had a miscarriage or their child was tragically lost later in life. Or I think about women who desperately want to be a Mum but aren't able to conceive. This day must really stink for those people. I guess they just try and ignore it, but when we are bombarded by adverts on TV and the Internet for weeks beforehand it must be really tough...I just want to send a big hug to those people...And thinking more about it now, its strange and kind of scary to think that I might not of been here today for my own Mum...

Oh dear, wish I hadn't started thinking about all this now, brain overload, cannot register or process any more thoughts...time to zone out me thinks...!

xxx

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