Friday 30 December 2011

some fun and normality

Well, considering I went out last night, I am feeling surprisingly chipper today. I think I might be getting wise in my old age. Or maybe I've just had too many bad hangovers. Whatever the reason, I'm glad that I was a reasonably sensible old girl, and stopped drinking alcoholic beverages at midnight. I am headache free! Wahoo!

It was lovely getting out and about last night. My life almost felt normal for once.

I did feel pretty nervous before hand though. Knowing your going to be seeing old friends, who are going to ask the inevitable 'how are you' questions, just fills me with dread. Its so silly really, and my mind just spirals out of control into paranoia-land. Which is a pretty scary place. I don't advise visiting paranoia-land. If you ever get anywhere near the boundary, please turn around and run away quickly. Don't even think about stepping over the edge, you will forever regret it.  (Excellent advice, that I shouldn't just be dishing out, but that I should be taking myself....)

I was worrying for nothing of course. I had some good chinwags with people, and I didn't feel too shitty. I just have to concentrate on not comparing myself with others. And keeping the black dog as far away from me as possible.

I think I might be a little bit stronger than I realise...

xxx

2 comments:

  1. Know that feeling well, like your dangling from a cliff by your fingernails. Keep telling myself it will be ok, its always ok.

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  2. I should have been doing the same last night, (going out with friends) but I couldn't get it together enough to manage it (3rd time I've made excuses over Christmas).
    So, congrats on making the most of the evening and even having some fun!
    I definitely think you're a lot stronger than you realise!

    Oh, and yeah, the Midlands is the place to be!

    www.thinking-about-leaving.blogspot.com

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