500 days of summer

Check out this clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tJoIaXZ0rw

Its from the film 500 days of summer. Which is a kind of OK film. Middle of the road. Good bits and bad bits. I think I quite like it. Maybe I need to watch it again as I seem to be a little undecided...!

Anyway, I want to start my day like that. I want to have a spring in my step. A bounce in my boots. A smile on my face. I want to feel happy. I want to see fireworks, and dance down the street. I want to wear a stupidly silly grin. I want to feel all warm inside (and having the central heating on doesn't count.) And, unlike the guy in the film, I know that I'm not going to get that from just one person. His surge of happiness quickly evaporates, like his girlfriend.

I'm not really sure if I'm making sense. Because I know that seeing certain people makes me happy, and hopefully one day (in a magical dreamland with all my fingers crossed) I might be with someone who makes me happy. But, its like, I've realised that its a lot more complicated than that. I need to be happy with ME first.

Bloody hell its taking a flipping long time isn't it??

I'm not even mildly pleased with myself yet. Let alone happy.

CURSES.

I just despise myself. And I can't get away from that.

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