Another huge thank you to all the people who have taken the time out to send me messages. I feel so encouraged to have your support and so privileged that some of you have been so kind as to share your own experiences with me. As I lay in the bath last night I began to worry as I know I haven't replied to everyone yet! I promise I will....At the moment,it sounds silly, but the nature of the depression means it takes a huge amount of energy to do normal tasks...I want you to know that I'm not ignoring you and I will reply and I'm so grateful for your support, it really does make a huge difference.
This morning I've had counselling. I didn't really want to go, as I knew that it was going to be a challenging session. I was right...!I have got a lot of things to work through, but step by step I hope I'll get there.....it seems like an impossible unachievable task at the moment. I just want to skip through it all and TADAAAAAA! A fighting fit Susie emerges from behind the curtain, all sparkly and new....
I've had a headache all afternoon and I'm such a sleepy Susie...I wish I was curled up in my bed all warm and toasty. I'm so tired of my brain, thoughts whirring round and round, like a tornado, out of control and no way of knowing which path it will take next.
A good friend emailed me this recently.....I hope they don't mind me putting it in here...?:-)
"Be who you are and say what you feel as those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind"
After I've written my blog I often think, oh no! Why did I write that?! This makes no sense! People are going to think I'm such a fruitloop! (Actually I think most of my friends have known that for a long time...!) But then I realised that writing this is a coping mechanism for myself. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If no-one read this, it wouldn't matter. But if writing this helps other people to understand depression and anxiety, and raises awareness of the illness, then thats just a bloody brilliant bonus.
Ok must stop typing now Susie can't concentrate anymore.....I think I may go and find some Diet Coke....
Until tomorrow
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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